Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.
Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds…Taking things personally makes you easy prey for these predators, the black magicians. They can hook you easily with one little opinion and feed you whatever poison they want, and because you take it personally, you eat it up….
But if you do not take it personally, you are immune in the middle of hell. Immunity in the middle of hell is the gift of this agreement.
Don Miguel Ruiz
Easier said than done right? Don’t take anything personally. I encounter this as a coach often. What I say to athletes can come off as an attack and it can turn athlete into a shell. Most of the communication falls on me to be a better communicator. Sometimes tough love is necessary and this can result in “hurt” feelings. By not taking things personally, we can avoid these types of hells and become immune.
We are the average of the 5 people we hang around the most. I use this with my teams and compel them to assess their friends. Are these people adding value to my life? Are these people motivated, inspired, and working hard towards a worthy goal? Are they slackers – finding ways to miss important things – being late to team functions – being average in their work habits? These are hard but important questions to ask. It’s important to ask yourself these questions to make sure you are bringing those around you up.
So what if your good friends are average in their habits? Do you disown them? Probably not. Can you spend less time with them? Yes, you can make that hard decision. Can you talk to them about working harder and getting it together? You could, but it would have to be tactfully. People are resistant to change. It can happen but it takes time and effort.
If you REALLY want what you say you do, practice the habit of not taking things personally AND assess the 5 people you spend the most time with. Are these people adding to your life in the direction of your worthy goals?